Well how many times have I heard that cry???
The very simple answer could be because they don’t process the not in your instruction.
When you say don’t do that! they often hear “Do that”, the not in your response isn’t processed, but if you say STOP doing that, do this instead, they will stop the behaviour being displayed and will go on to do whatever you have suggested instead, so make sure it is for the desired behaviour. Your child will need options or alternatives from you.
I can hear you all now, but I do this already and the undesired behaviour is still happening. OK, in this instance it is then important to consider the environment and ask yourself the question “What is my child trying to tell me, through this undesired behaviour?” “How am I not yet listening to them?” There is no right or wrong here, but the more able and ready you are to look at yourself and amend your own behaviour, which may be the same or similar undesirable behaviour you are experiencing from your child, progress may be made. An example of this would be wanting your child to stop shouting, but if you are also shouting at them, you are both matching or mirroring behaviour traits – your child learns from you.
This can seem more complex and other areas may also need to be explored, such as medical conditions and alike. If this is the case you may prefer to book a one-to-one session.
Hopefully a few of you are now getting to know my blogs and gaining an understanding of what and how I work. All I can tell you is that, although I cannot give you the answers or fix the problem for you, BUT, what I can do is supply the ‘Tools’ (if you like) and the actions needed for you to have a better understanding of your child’s needs / problems and if you will take the time to understand them and implement them, you WILL resolve the issue.
With much love and appreciation,