Really!! Oh, but they do, it’s just that at the moment there is a display in behaviour either verbal or in action that clearly shows a mix up in communication and we need to try and work out what they are trying to tell you that leads you to think that they no longer love you or want you.
As always it is so important for the parent(s) to be totally honest with me when describing the sequence of events that have lead them up to this belief, otherwise it leads to a further breakdown in communications……………and that’s really not great for anyone involved.
I use this story a lot from when I was a nanny in my younger years, as it really explains how the feeling of not being loved or wanted can evolve from both sides.
I had been in charge of this toddlers care for some months when I started to notice that when the parents returned home, the child was starting to displaying aggressive behaviour, especially to the father. The child would hit/kick/punch/slap the father. I noticed that often when the father returned home he was on the phone and would be for some time once walking into the house.
When the parents eventually asked me for some advice I was happy to help. However, this meant some very diplomatic conversations with the father I can tell you! After the subject had been broached, my suggestion was for the father not to walk into the house until he had finished off his phone calls. He was then to spend the first 10 minutes when he returned home from work greeting his child and hearing about the child’s day etc. If the phone rang again he was to ignore it until his child and he had shared their day with each other. It has to be appreciated that each parent ran their own highly successful business, but home time should mean home time and time to spend with their young child before the pressures of work or friends phoning took over again.
The father agreed to give it a go, after all, what did he have to lose? And I didn’t want the child to be so unhappy whenever the parents returned home. Just as they did I too wanted them all to look forward to the event and feel that they could share their day with each other. The aggressive behaviour soon ceased (by day 3) as the child was not having to compete for his fathers attention anymore when he returned home. They were both now able to have the feeling of love and in return the father no longer felt unwanted or unloved by the child.
As I said this is an example that I often use, as it is easy to explain and generally people understand the simplicity of what may look like a complicated or escalating scenario.
Things are not always that easily rectified as some situations are more complex than others, but, you know what? There is always a reason and always an answer.
As for the funny things kid’s say and do from last week, I promised to share with you the reason for the girl’s laughter every time she took a step in the wood along side me – this was being caused by the sound of the twigs snapping underneath her feet, it always makes me smile how the simple things sound so different to them.
Another gem offered up by one of you lovely readers, was when teaching her son to put on his shoes and tie up the laces, she told him not to forget to pull the tongue out – so he did………promptly sticking his own tongue out!!!
These are such treasured memories to share of love, life and laughter it reminds us all that although there may be challenges along the way, the memories of the fun times will live with us always and will remind us to grin.
Until next week, when our thoughts will start turning to (dare I say the word) Christmas. In the meantime here in the office we are starting festivities a little early by attending a charity screening of HOME ALONE. Much laughter will ensue I am sure, speak to you all again soon.
With much love and appreciation,
P.S. Do feel free to share this post as it is, please do not copy and paste.